On This Day God Gave Us a Ferris Wheel

Yikes, it's the 10th already! But thank goodness, because the kids are back in school as of the 7th... Y A H O O!!!! Two weeks off brought us back to the summer time challenges of having 7 kids in the house. Chaos doesn't seem to be a strong enough word.

Some of you reading out there know lots about adoption, some know some, some know nothing, so whoever you are, well, just be aware that if you don't know about adoption then reserve your judgement. And what I mean by that is lots of people *think* they know about adoption (I've talked to many of them at the post office, grocery store or church and they are all too happy to tell me all about adoption, usually leaving ME with the responsibility of an uncomfortable reality check for them). What those "not-in-the-know" don't understand sometimes is that when parenting children who have not been with your their whole lives you have to parent differently sometimes. Kids come with a history that you weren't a part of and you have to weave it all together. You also have different challenges and joys, so what I'm about to share, some people may not get, and that's OK. Just know that this is our reality.

Anyway...

What challenged us the most over the break was Kerline's behavior. I'm sure she would kill me for talking about this, but since I know she doesn't read the blog I'm safe for now. We had crammed our schedule with various activities. I had randomly met a family from Spokane on the bus one day and we ended up having them over a couple of times for comida (that was fun to get to know them) and we visited Roser, a new friend of ours, in Algemesi, south of Valencia. I took Eva and Jolie to the Kids Expo at the Expo Center one day. Ann hosted a kids Christmas party here on another day. Julia came over to teach Ann to make Arroz al Horno and then we had an extended comida with her and her family, etc. So we had lots of activity but not a lot of quiet family time. Big mistake. Kerline, whether she realized it or not, whether she's 15 or not, needed more attention, and she was determined to get it one way or another.

So the acting out started and our parenting-a-teen skills were stretched. We were trying all sorts of things, some "normal" parental things and others not so normal. I reached my limit on a couple of occasions and blew my top...yeah, that was some stellar parenting. Over a period of several days it seemed to get worse and nothing we did made any difference. Finally, on Sunday we decided to take a late afternoon walk on the beach since Kerline had wanted to go to the beach earlier in the week at about 8pm, hence the reason we didn't go then. It was kind of my desperate attempt to get in some family time before school started up again and to get things back on the right foot for Kerline. I thought it was going to bomb. But what happened was really amazing. We got to the beach and laughed, joked and played as we walked. Then an old fisherman on the beach was showing the girls the bait (since he hadn't caught anything yet) and wanting them to take pictures holding the fishing rod. He was funny.

We then walked up to the street and went to a carnival that was near the port. There was a huge ferris wheel and we decided to take a ride even though I was a little nervous that this too could backfire since Eva and/or Jolie might freak out. It was actually a fast ferris wheel too. It turned out to be great. The girls were exhilirated. There was a beautiful sunset over the mountains and you could see over the roof tops across the city as you got to the top of the wheel. Afterward, the kids tried cotton candy for the first time and Eva exclaimed, "Mama, I put a big piece in my mouth and it just disappeared!!!"

The afterglow of the evening has set everyone, Kerline especially, back on the right track. She is still challening at times, but much more compliant in the last several days. She has taken leaps in her connection to Eugene, even telling him "love you," spontaneously for the FIRST time ever! I have been cuddling with her at night before bed which she loves and she gets to talk to me about stuff. Snuggling with a 15 y.o. is a little counter-intuitive in the parenting realm. Usually kids are pulling away from that stuff by then but really, she hasn't had it for her whole life, so we're catching up now.

I keep praying for God to give me the juice to parent well, as I know I don't have it intuitively. I've seen what happens when I get lax in the area of prayer. But I've also seen what happens when I fervently get back to it! And there's always the ferris wheel too.