Yes, the WHOLE Ham

The plan for the Christmas Eve and Christmas Day meals were a meld of different traditions from our two families. Christmas Eve we went with salmon. And for Christmas Day we wanted to make ham. Now, ham is a tricky thing here in Spain. After all, Spain is the Land of Jamón (ham). Ham is serious business. You know, like there are different kinds of wine, and if you know what you're doing you can see, smell and taste the differences between them. Well, it is the same with jamón. It's kind of like proscuitto in many cases, differing in taste and texture based on the type of pig, what it was fed, how old it was, how long it was aged/cured, etc. Then there's ham more like what we are familiar with. The good stuff is spendy and will melt in your mouth like buttah.

We didn't want a proscuitto-like ham but a whole, cooked ham to bake with cloves, the whole nine yards. Trying to figure out what kind of ham would be called was one challenge and then actually finding one was another. Turns out they are fairly available, hidden right in the butcher case with all the other cured meats. The thing is, it's not normal to buy a whole one. So Eugene took a number at the butcher counter and when his number was called he explained what he wanted. The butcher replies with a baffled look, "You want the WHOLE ham?" Yes. The whole thing.

Similar thing at the seafood counter with the salmon, "you want the WHOLE salmon fillet?" Yes, please.

I'm convinced that we are a source of funny stories for the Spaniards. I imagine the butcher going out for his mid-morning beer with some friends or co-workers and saying, "Yeah, this American comes in and buys a 6 kilo ham...YEAH, the WHOLE thing! That's what I thought, who's going to eat all that ham???" Well señor, let me tell you. No, it would take too long, just gimme the damn ham.

When we got to the checkout and the cashier is ringing everything up, she looks like she's watching a speed tennis match, her head going back and forth scanning item after item after item. After a while she looks up at me and says, "En serio?" Are you serious? Yes, ma'am, oh so serious. I don't think anyone ever racks up a 172€ bill in the grocery store here. We're Americans ma'am, this is what we do. Big, everything big.